When I was in high school, the knowledge that I had of my disease was very limited. Talk about a lack of control! I probably averaged around a blood sugar of at least 200. As my control has improved over the years, I could not physically handle that. I look back and wonder how my performance could have been better if my numbers were better. I dealt with highs and lows on a daily basis.
In college, I was a bit better because I tested more often. I still wasn't where I should have been. Practice was more strenuous and this beat me down. Staying illness free was very difficult. I just assumed that it was due to the difficulty of the practices. I always thought that everyone was in better condition than me because they didn't seem as run down as me. This is not supposed to be a pity party. Did my disease hold me back? Maybe, but I can't think like that.
Diabetes was my motivation in these times of my life. I was out to prove people wrong. I was out to prove my disease wrong.
As an adult, my mindset is different. Instead of proving my disease wrong, it's about working with it. No matter how bad I want it to just go away, it's not going to anytime soon or ever. What I can do is be diligent about the choices I make physically and dietary wise. The better I treat my disease, the better it will treat me.
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